• Therron "The Great-Axe"

The Gang does Drugs (pt. 2)

Updated: Oct 16, 2018



After defeating the weakling-beholder-looking thing in the cave, the party decided to plan on their next moves.




Go back to the Previous Part The Gang goes on a Walkabout.


Brodie, still near the settlement buildings looks for shovels or anything at all that could be helpful for trapping this Felixx character. He finds nothing but a purple-stained mortar and pestle used to grind the dick flower into dick mush for tea!

The party decides to take it into their inventory because you never know when you might need the tool.

Keira decides to drag the beholder's corpse deep into the cavern and is then directed by Bharash to find gather sticks.

Nobody is strong enough to dig, for the ground is made mostly of stone. There are no methods in which a trap can be set that does not alarm an enemy, so the party decides to forgo the trap-setting for now, and instead waits.

Having just acquired a mortar and pestle, and feeling like a psychonaut, Bharash decides to sift through the monster's remains to find any undigested flowers to combine with his half-eaten flowers for some DICK-FLOWER TEA!

The party goes back to the clearing where they had first encountered the monster to setup camp for the night. Bharash begins preparing the Dick Flower Tea.


It smells terrible!


It did come from a dead monster's stomach after all. Bharash, having the highest constitution wants to drink the tea first, especially since Keira made it abundantly clear that she would eat the flowers herself otherwise. Brodie is a bit more cautious, examines the tea, but determines it seems harmless. He says, "I wonder what it will do. It isn't poisonous, but if it is that important to guard for over 150 years, then it must have special properties." Bharash takes a sip with one pinky up, making fin of nobles. It tastes like burnt bone wood, but Bharash doesn't mind.


Nothing happens.


Barash throws caution to the wind and splits the rest with Brodie, as they both drink down the concoction. Keira is not able to get any of the tea for herself. With that, Bharash decides to take first watch.


"You'll let me know if anything happens to you, right Bharash?" Brodie asks before tucking in for a bit.


"You bet! If I see anything cool or start tripping balls, I'll let you know"


Bharash does his 2 hour watch without incident. Nothing seems to be happening either with the dick flower tea, and that disappoints him a bit. He shuffles over to where Brodie is sleeping to wake him up.

Brodie wakes up having felt nothing either, but looks at Bharash's face where scales and skin appear to be melting off of him, revealing the bones and flesh beneath. Brodie has been sitting there, attempting to wake up for his watch, but now panic-stricken, he pushes himself back and examines his own body.

Flesh is also peeling off his arm. You can clearly see bones and the muscle tissue has rotted away.

Bharash does not notice anything is amiss, but Keira quickly readies some holy water. Brodie drinks some of it and splashes it over his arm. The holy-water's effect seems to immediately cure him of his undead ailment. Bharash takes a giant swig of the holy water. Some of it goes to work healing him, but he does not splash any on his face, so the injury remains.


"We just drank zombie potion!" Brodie shouts.


Bharash replies, "I was really hoping this was some LSDick, but I'm disappointed that we did all that work and all we have to show for it is becoming zombies. I don't even see what the big deal is about the flower."


Bharash is physically unphased by the lack of face skin, but is still very upset, so he decides to sleep on his turn to recover for the night. Bharash wonders if there is a better way to use the plant to get the desired outcome he wants, or if it can be used for good. What good is a flower that looks like a bunch of dicks, if it doesn't at least cause something to happen, like 4 hours of increased dragon libido or something? Bharash does a medicine check but fails. Oh well, perhaps this is a good question for Felixx.

Instead of sleeping, Brodie plans an ambush where everyone in the party corners him on command. He will attempt to deceive Felixx in order to extract as much information from him as possible regarding the real use for the herb, including how best to prevent it from getting into the wrong hands. Brodie had spoken with the beholder-creature long enough to learn its mannerisms and voice pattern, so the trap is set for Felixx when he arrives on Tuesday.

The sun rises on a beautiful day, and Bharash, still missing half of his face decides to go out hunting for food. He is really feeling like having a nice fish, perhaps a few! But alas, because he can only see with one eye for some reason, he cannot use his fishing spear (a dart attached to his quarterstaff) properly. In an effort to save face in front of the party, he sets a few small traps around the area and captures some squirrels. "Good morning everyone!" Bharash says excitedly. "I hope you are hungry for some fish..." Keira's eyes light up, "...because here I have some squirrels!" Keira seems dismayed at Bharash's humor.


The party cooks up the fish and talk amongst themselves for most of the day. Brodie has not had a great time dealing with the horrible nightmare that was the beholder's mind trick, and then to become an undead. He had spent way too long in the underdark, that his fears would come so close to reality is noticeably jarring.

The morning turns to afternoon, and afternoon turns to evening.


Just as the party is about to give up, a hooden old man hunched over with a walking stick appears in the distance. Everyone jumps to attention and finds their places as he walks closer to the ambush point. "Eyeball!" The old man searches for his creature slave.


"Ah Felixx! How good it is to see you after so long!" Brodie responds convincingly. "It is Tuesday, and I am ready to be freed. I have spend so long keeping the flowers safe from others. You can see I have done a great job, yes?"


Felixx is deceived and walks closer to the ambush point. The party waits for their cue to surround him. He ventures into place, and the party descends upon him from all directions. Brodie, takes point and begins questioning the old man.


"Hold it right there, old-timer! We have already met your creature and discovered your plot to enslave him for 150 years to prevent the growth of a particular flower"


"Oh dear..." the old man coughs and looks down. "Tell me you haven't..."


"I don't see what the big deal is with this stupid dick flower." Barash interrupts.


"You lizard-brained oaf!" shouts the old man. "You ate some!?"


Felixx walks over to Bharash, "Come hear, ya goof. Let me take care of that." he rubbs a paste over Bharash's face curing his undead completely, and restoring his vision.


Felixx begins to tell the party about how 150 years ago he made made this creature guard the flowers, to prevent them from ever getting into the wrong hands, as their proliferation spells doom for the land.


"Where is my pet?" Felix asks knowingly.


"We sorta killed it to death," Keira says.


"Yea, I mean it attacked us first, so we destroyed it," Bharash includes.


Felixx tells the party that they must take Eyeball's place a Dick Flower guardians, making sure they are destroyed every day, and nobody is allowed to trespass, forfeiting their life if they do.


"I am surprised Eyeball did not have you for 'tea' as I am sure he has done with so many others who end up as his food. Hmmm too bad for Eyeball."


He continues to talk about the plant, and our duty to protect this land from intruders.


After a time, both Brodie and Bharash feel compelled to take on this role. It seems like finally Bharash has found purpose, and Brodie wants nothing more than to prevent this herb from finding evildoers. Bharash thinks about his new life as Felixx's servant, and is enthralled by the idea as his new life and has taken all of the remaining Dick Flowers, setting them on fire with his torch.

Brodie finally snaps out of this spell when he remembers how Eyeball spent 150 years tending to this flower. There is no way he could even live that long better yet actively tend as this old man's gardener. Still wanting to destroy the plant, he asks Felixx if it is a good idea to simply burn down the forest where the plant grow.



DM issues Brodie a point of Inspiration as he reaches for Bharash's torch.


Keira has been quietly following the old man just out of view, waits for him to travel near the cave, and then surprise attacks him for 10 damage. She then uses Flurry of Blows to deal an extra 2 pts of damage. However, she feels as if her attacks are not really effective.


Brodie sneaks over and shanks Felixx. His magic blade slips in and draws blood as the old man falls over. As Felixx begins to fade, Brodie tries to keep them alive by using a potion of healing, hoping to eventually gag him and take him into town to be interrogated. The old man's wound seals, but Brodie drops his guard when he questions the old man about the flower's origin.


Felixx responds, "You see, the flower.. it.."


*POOF!


Felixx dematerializes and teleports away from the party, immediately casting a petrification spell at the party.


Brodie fails his saving throw even with inspiration. Brodie is stoned.


Bharash uses inspiration to make his saving throw, and is not affected by the spell.


Keira is nimble enough to dodge and attacks with 2 unarmed strikes for 4.5 pts of damage. Her Flurry of Blows does no damage but is instead met with a physical forcefield as it appears only magical damage can hurt him now.


Bharash launches 3 scorching rays at his foe, but only 2 hit. One is a critical fail, which blows up on Bharash, sending his head into a tree, knocking him unconscious. The other 2 rays met their target dealing enough damage to char Felixx.


Brody, once frozen in place, stabilizes.


Keira wants to save Felixx from death, and Brody wants to prevent him from casting any more spells, so he begins chopping off his fingers. As Felixx dies, his soul materializes and then drifts into the ether.

Bharash is still unconscious, but eventually comes to.


Brodie has discovered Felixx's spell book and a voodoo doll of sorts that is a bunch of bones strung together with sinew or string.

As his soul wisps into nothingness, Dick Flowers begin blooming from the wizard's corpse. As they walk away, flowers begin sprouting up all over the place behind them. The party doesn't give a single shit; they begin journeying back to town to show off Bharash's new spellbook.


Go to the next part The Gang Goes back to East Shore.


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